Joke of the day! (No Memes)

I used to think orthopedic shoes were overrated…
But I stand corrected.
 
JD: Do you know the difference between a Ceasar Salad and a BJ?
Hottie: No, what?
JD: Want to go to lunch?
 
Every morning I announce to my family that I’m going jogging…
Then I never go.
At this point, it’s basically a running joke.
 
I went to a party Saturday, and some hotty offered me grapes.
I said, "No thanks, I don't take my wine in pill form".
 
If my name was David and I had a son, I’d name him Harley.
That way he could introduce himself as
Harley, David’s son.
 
Doctor: So, JD, Are you taking the weight loss prescription I gave you?
.
JD: Well, it said take on an empty stomach, so, no, I've not had a chance.
 
JD: Hello miss, can I see the menu please?
.
Waitress: No, the men I please is none of your business.
 
Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water.
I was like… well dam.
 
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