Joke of the day! (No Memes)

George Washington passed away in 1799 and the first dinosaur fossil wasn’t discovered until 1864.
So, he lived his entire life without ever knowing dinosaurs existed.
 
The menu said Mahi Mahi, but I was
not that hungry so I just ordered Mahi.
 
I got up this morning and
did my push ups in the nude.
I didn't see the mousetrap.
 
My daughter and I were watching Star Wars. She asked why Luke was climbing inside the Tauntaun.
“To keep warm,” I said.
She thought about it for a second, then asked, “How warm is it in there?”
I looked at her and replied, “Lukewarm.”
 
I grilled a chicken for two hours…
Still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road
 
Someone said IKEA is selling Lesbian beds.
No nuts or screwing involved.
 
A robber broke into a college bookstore this morning and stole $15,000 worth of textbooks.
Thankfully, police were able to fully recover and return both books to the school.
 
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